Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The End of Sadness….



All alone, and left with my thoughts.  I doubt anyone cares.  I cry often, begging God for finality, and ease of anguish.  Despair, disdain and desperation begin to set in.  I wonder what my purpose in life is, and will it reveal itself in time. My sadness is real, my loneliness is real, and my emotional downward spiral is REAL!

 I have no one to turn to; no one takes my heartache and pain serious.  My furtive calls for help fall upon deaf ears.  The earliest I can speak with someone professionally is ninety days, when I need to speak with someone now.  Will anyone listen before its too late?  

When all is done, there will be many who will come to see me, who will cry for me, who will have distant fond memories of me, but I’m not fooled.  They never cared.  If they cared, they would have been with me before my departure.  Talking to me, consoling me, uplifting me, holding me, telling me they love me, and I have nothing to fear.  WHERE WERE YOU?!?!?  The lights and the fire are out, too late for your words of comfort and kindness that you stand on the podium to recite.  It’s stuffy, dark and tight in here, but I hear you all weep. The pastor reads his scripture, the flowers are thrown, the dirt is shoveled, and those who have grieved and mourned my passing are now leaving to go back to living their lives.  It is forever, the end of my sadness….


*This post is NOT about me, but I do understand some aspects of this writing.  At times I'm sad, cry and speak with God on various issues.  However, there are people who follow through with suicide due to lack of resources or we don’t see the signs.  Please try to be aware of the signs, and be willing to help…. 


10 comments:

Unknown said...

Dee, that's deep and unfortunately, true for some.

Leigh said...

Unable to articulate the emotions that go along with pain of being alone and invisible in a crowd. We settle for the pain and avoid the fear of (what if).

Leigh said...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Unknown said...

Whoa.... I am not suicidal, but I happily admit, at some points in time, I have & can related to that "sadness". I love you & miss you., Very well written, as are the rest of the blog scribes... Sweets

Anonymous said...

The End of Sadness is a great eye opener for many. It is amazing how often I talk to someone who is struggling and you are right if they have a friend to talk to it can make a huge difference.

Anonymous said...

Hold On And Don't Give Up He's Out There God Knows Best....You Are Witty, Strong Black Woman, Very Light On The EyeS He Will Find You When ThE Time Is Right.
Marva

Dee said...

Deep..Profound...and an eye opener. I read it three times with a sense of calm & peace each time. It's a must that I share this.

Anonymous said...

A person may not ask for help, but that doesn't mean that help isn't wanted. Most people who reach a low point in their lives don't want to end it —they just want to stop hurting. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously. If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But talking openly about our feelings and thoughts can save a life. I am not fond of this piece....it's depressing just reading it but hopefully someone can read it and be inspired.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, you see a fine,fine thread that others cannot. This was thought provoking at a not very comfortable time in my own life. Thank you for putting this out there, it was obviously something I needed to read.

Ralph L Harding II said...

wow, your so insightful, you never cease to amaze me ......

RLH II