No need to wonder why some women are single. The answer is a simple one. Women have been brainwashed. Recent generations of women have been taught to take care of ourselves, provide for our children, to be “just as good or bad” as a man, independent, and to compete in the workforce with men. When in fact we should be being taught to be loyal, submissive (honor and respect, not dominance) and most importantly know your role as the woman in the relationship. I wonder if being taught all of the independence, we lose what the role and demeanor of a woman should be. Some women want to run shit, they want to be the head of the family, yet they still want the man to be manly. How can he be? How can a man feel manly, when some women throw in their man’s face how much they don’t need them? How they, the woman, can do everything by and for themselves. Simply put a real man cant. Keep in mind, a loser will revel in the thought of you “holding it down” –ALONE.
I am guilty of being brainwashed. I find that the teachings of the recent generations left me with a very strong personality, and this, along with my independence leaves me empty. In a dream I had, I was speaking to a woman who had been cheating with a married man, and while speaking with her, she mentioned her lover preferring to speak to her in place of his wife. When I asked why, her answer was as simple as “It’s how I speak to him.” At that very moment I awoke, and was unable to get back to sleep. I hung onto those words and began thinking just how important communication is within a relationship. I began to think of myself in the wife’s place, in the sense of how I may be speaking to the men I have dealt with. My strong personality and independence leads me to believe I can run shit, so in turn I lean towards dominating the relationship. I’m sorry ladies, but a REAL man will not allow it!
The Real Man: A real man who loves you will check this type woman, and feel assured that the negative manner, disrespectful behavior or tone in which she speaks or displays will not happen again. No one wants anyone who is weak, and I am not promoting scare tactics. A man wants a woman to be soft and angelic, and a woman, a man who is compassionate and sensitive, but weak, NO. However, there have to be rules in place in a relationship. Once again, know your role or better yet, play your position, or game over!
The Loser: A loser who is looking for the free ride OR the guy that just wants to be in your presence will not check your dominance or manner in which you speak to him. Why would he? He is comfortable in knowing his place and or role. He knows your bills will be paid, the food will be bought, the sex will be given in rations (he is satisfied with any amount you give him), and the children will be cared for. He knows that if he abides by your rules, stays out of your way, and be the “yes” man, all is good. He knows you complain to your girlfriends about how he is, and he could care less, because his eyes are on the prize – YOU. This is not the man you want in your life ladies.
So, how does one change who they’ve become? How do I suppress the very essence of who I have been brainwashed to be? How do I find the real man I am in search of? It’s a huge challenge for me, but one that I am dedicated to overcome. The driving force behind me wanting to change my dominating ways, is the fact that I want my next relationship to be my last love.
There is a very real and true statement that we need to incorporate in our everyday routine, and it goes: “You will always catch more bees with honey, than you will flies with crap…”
Talk to me....
DDW
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7 comments:
Bingo......You hit it on the head with this one.....
Once upon a time, in a land now far away, tehre was a MAN who told me that the reason I had no man (at the time) was because my strong personality scared men away. I proceeded to explain to this individual that when the right man came along, he would appreciate me and my strong personality. fast forward to now, I am really happy that I waited, because I have some who indeed appreciates me and my strentgh. I guess what I am trying to say is that regardless of what we have been taught by society, if we try to edit ourselves and play down to someone elses idea of what and who we are supposed to be, then we will be inside yet another hell, not of our making. Don't be afraid to be you, when you meet the right person, they will love you for it, rather than in spite of it.
Who you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. To thy own self be true – don’t change to fit someone else’s idea and don’t try to change someone to fit yours. Sharpen your vision - it will be easier to spot and weed out the “losers” before you become involved with them, and polish your approach – a “real man” is going to require respect, honor and a high standard of behavior. Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. I love this little quote… “Keep your relationships brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong admit it, whenever you're right shut up.”
and this one too....“He is half of a blessed man. Left to be finished by such as she; and she a fair divided excellence, whose fullness of perfection lies in him.”
I truly believe that this is not the root of the problem but it's the outcome of the ethnic chasm between men and woman particurly black people,no one wants a follower but very few can be with a leader,as long as we stay seperate as couples we will always be weak and in turn raise weaker children not prepared with the proper coping skills to function in the world.Strong couples raise stronger well adjusted children Obama was raised by a couple albeit white but they clearly had love in their hearts and with that love as a unit overcomes the racism that ruins our society.It's so ingrained that we need not want,like but need like our grandparents knew they needed each other so their was a level of respect for the process of making it and sacrificing for their good as a whole,we've lost that part of ourselves ,we have bcome so self centered in pursuit of what we want as opposed to what we need to make it as a whole.
I don't think Denise was saying that she was going to stop being a strong independent woman, what she is saying is she is going to allow her man to be a man and not try being the dominant one in her relationship. I grew up with a woman whose personality was so strong that it was overbearing in her marriage, it drove the man away. She wouldn't allow him to be a man in his own home. It was her way or no way. Fast forward to today, same said woman has been without a man in her life for 40 years. Her man appreciated her and her strong personality until it became overbearing. Just knowing your position within a relationship and being respected in your relationship is enough.
I am in agreement with your thoughts. But a man has to give the woman a reason to respect him and a lot of men just isn't cut from that cloth. See Sis respect is gain though once actions. A real man character speaks in volume when he has his shit together.
Food for thought.
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